clothing

This week I’ve given Johanna several items of my clothing. I didn’t keep track, but I can recall at least 5 short sleeve shirts, 3 long sleeve shirts, 2 pairs of pants and 1 jacket, including one shirt I bought for myself as a birthday gift 2 years ago but have only worn once. In fact, most of the clothing I’ve only worn once or twice. 2 of the items were in the purple family, not my color. 3 were very neutral colors, and I like to wear brighter colors these days, but the rest were because they just didn’t fit well.

I find buying clothes hard. When you sit all the time, you want shirts longer in the back so that they cover, but not so long in the front that they bunch up. Pants need to be full in the seat because otherwise they pinch at the waist, and also full in the leg to be able to get them on. I buy talls so that there is enough rise through the butt, and so that the leg is long enough to touch my shoes, but often that means too much fabric in front.

As I’ve gotten older, and fuller through the middle, this problem has gotten worse. I remember years ago, someone referring to the para-quad belly, and I stupidly was pleased that wasn’t me! That was before kids and middle age took its toll. Having babies stretched my stomach in a way that a para cannot exercised away. And I have gained weight over the years steadily, but surely.

There’s also the problem of posture. Not sitting up straight makes your stomach pooch out even more. So, snug clothing is not attractive. I hope to help this with a new wheelchair, but it won’t fix the posture problem entirely.

Anyone who is curious, next time you go clothes shopping and try something on – look at yourself while standing, then sit down and decide if you like it. The clothes will not fit the same.

Johanna and I agree that if I weren’t sitting all the time and didn’t have other complications that being a para means, we’d probably be the exact same size and shape. She’s an inch taller, I’m 5 pounds heavier (and 5 years older, so that makes sense). Even now, our bodies are so close in size it’s amazing. We can wear each other’s bras. Where we differ is in pant size, where I’m one size larger. And we differ especially in HOW things fit. So, a lot of my “hand-me-down” clothes are really failed fashion attempts.

The one that hurts the most to give away, is the birthday item I treated myself to. It is an olive , black and brown (think cammoflage) blouse with a low round neckline, gathered around the neck and sleeves, with a band around the hips. It’s a slinky feeling, sexy thing – well, as sexy as I get! On Johanna it sits nicely, not so low it shows cleavage, but gives a good shape. On me, the back rides up, which makes the front hang too low, and I’m fighting to keep my bra covered (got no cleavage), and feeling like I’m a board from neck to bra. Well, I am very small breasted, so perhaps I am a board! But this blouse made me feel totally flat-chested. I tried wearing clips to hold the shirt to the bra at the right level, and all I ended up with was raw red spots where the clips kept rubbing. The shirt has sat in my drawer for a year. I liked it enough to buy it – I wanted it to fit!

I could give these failures to charity, but prefer to give them to my sister and imagine how they might look on me. It’s a weird way to behave perhaps, maybe even a bit painful. Johanna is happy to get the stuff – it’s generally in great shape, and the price is right, and it fits! If she doesn’t like something, she gives it back. I’m not offended.

Once I tried clothing specifically made for people who use wheelchairs. The pants are cut low in front, full in back, long in leg. You have to measure yourself in a different way. Unfortunately the selection was limited, and the fit was less than ideal. The front fit, but it lacked the creases that most people have when sitting, so it looked odd. Perhaps I should try this again one day.

Recently I saw an article in the paper about 2 women starting a company that advises women on fashion. The basic principle of what looks good depends on the horizontal lines of neckline, shirt hemline, jacket length, sleeve length, and pant hem. Their before and after pictures are impressive. They do some other alterations to clothing too, like taking in full pant legs and waists, but overall I’d agree that their methods work. Check them out at www.thefashioncode.com. But what if you are sitting? I’m tempted to email them and ask. There are some other problems with their approach too – they care little for comfort or practical concerns. For example they advocate for pointy shoes, and like to cut jacket sleeves a few inches above the wrist, which is totally annoying and cold.

I find shopping for clothes tiresome, pants especially. I’ll buy pants from catalogs where I can request At-Waist waistbands, and 34” inseam, and a full leg. I’ll continue to experiment with shirts but fall back on longer T-style shirts with something decorative.

Today, I bought myself a beautiful, salmon colored scarf from India, with tiny little mirrors on it. Scarves are one size fits all, and go with all kinds of shirts. I have a drawer full of them.