So, today I've moved on to thinking about what I'll be doing in Iguazu (google Iguazu falls, really beautiful scenery) and at the ports we dock at on the cruise. But, rather than focusing on the adventure, I've been preparing myself for disappointment. It's so pessimistic of me. My negativity in general will probably cost me 10 years off my life. So, perhaps this post isn't about disability, but more about me, or perhaps a combination - how I handle my disability, given my personality?
Something like that. But I think, that's one of the points I would like to make to everyone - that if you look at someone with a disability, and feel sorry for them, or maybe less strongly - that you wonder how they manage - you are looking at them through the lens of your own life and personality. And honestly I believe that most people tend to see our differences more than our similarities, so what you see are the hardships, or your perception of hardships, which usually don't match what they really are. And part of that is because we gimps don't generally talk about a lot of them, and they are hidden. (a story for another day)
All the same, psychological arguments aside, I am still preparing myself for some disappointment. Unlike in the US, where a cruise ship is bound by the ADA to offer some accessible excursions, there are no such laws in other countries. And even if a nature walk, or town tour, or lecture or cooking demonstration... is accessible, usually the transportation to get there, isn't. We found on our Panama Canal cruise, which stopped in 3 or 4 places in Mexico, and Costa Rica, and Aruba, that our best plan was to make our own tours. If the dock was close enough to the town, we'd disembark and walk around. If not, we hired a taxi either for a short ride, and sometimes for the whole day. Puntarenas, Costa Rica was beautiful and we couldn't have had a better driver for a personal tour. Aruba and Puerto Vallarta were easy to walk around. Acapulco was a short ride into town. Or do I have Puerto Vallarta and Acapulco backwards? Doesn't matter. One was one way, one was the other.
But, until you disembark, you really don't know how good a stop it's going to be. You might know that other people walk into town, but you don't know about curbcuts or glass on the sidewalk, or traffic where there aren't curb cuts. You might know that taxis are right at the end of the pier, but you don't know if you'll be able to get in them, or if the driver will speak any English, or if they'll take you somewhere and then leave you (we've heard stories!). In Puntarenas we had an accessible mini van taxi, where I could stay in my wheelchair - imagine that! The driver spoke very good English, and knew great places to visit, including one of the best lunches we had on the cruise. You just don't know, and sometimes it's wonderful and sometimes things do not go well.
In Juneau, Alaska we had one of our worst experiences with taxis. In retrospect, we should have booked the helicopter tour through the cruise ship, because they have accessible buses at their disposal in Alaska. And actually we did at first, but we discovered that it was at least $100 more with them, than if you book privately. We figured we would just hop a cab out to the helicopter pad. I called ahead and arranged for an accessible taxi for the right day. Juneau had one accessible taxi, and I had the foresight to check this out ahead of time.
Juneau itself is easy walking around the cruise ship dock. People who want transportation after they disembark are usually headed out to the glaciers or a rainforest or national park. They might not sign up for a tour through the ship, but they often choose from a multitude of options after they get ashore. And most of these run with small or full size buses, which of course I cannot get into. There are no sedan style taxis in town. There are minivans for larger groups, and I believe some busses act as city shuttles.
So, that day we got off the ship, and went to the proper taxi stand for the radio call-in that we were ready for the one accessible taxi. And, it didn't show. The driver had decided to take the day off, and had turned off his radio. He didn't recognize a previous reservation, or perhaps hadn't been told, who knows. Anyway, about 2 hours later, the taxi company finally found a semi-retired woman who drove something like a 1985 station wagon, that was outfitted as a taxi, to take us to and from the helicopter pad. She couldn't have been nicer, and everything worked out well in the end. Wasted 2 hours waiting around, and missed the original helicopter appointment. But the helicopter company people were really accommodating and laid back, even had a special motorized lift for helping people who can't stand to board.
It was a good day, though, because the helicopter ride was amazing. It was the high point of the whole vacation, and I will recommend it to anyone, disabled or not, as perhaps the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen. I don't exactly rank my vacations, but seriously, this one had to be up there. People can tell you the crevasses in the ice of the glaciers is Windex blue, but no pictures we took really captured it. And we have some great photos!
My point - I know there will be difficulties, and this will be despite my best attempts to get things set up. I also know that I'll have a great vacation even if I don't see everything I hope to.
Iguazu Falls is going to be a challenge. We are limited to the Argentine side, because we don't have a Brazilian visa. It was more trouble than a 3 hour visit there was worth. No helicopter this time, because they only fly from Brazil, and there's a lot of controversy about them anyway. There are hours' worth of walking trails in the park, and river cruises that go under the falls, all would be interesting. But I can't figure out how accessible any of these are from here. I've tried, and now given up. We'll just have to go and see.
Similar problems with the places the cruise ship docks at. The details aren't important, the gist is the same. Chances are good that most of what I want to see, I'll get to somehow. There will be a few things I can't get to, that may even cause me some pain. I'll be really disappointed if I don't get to see any penguins, for example. Jim will take off one day on some excursion that I can't do - now planned for Ushuaia, where he'll take a catamaran tour around the coast. I think he feels guilty when he does this, for he puts himself in my place, and then I suspect he'd feel jealous. But I encourage him to do it, for it doesn't seem fair for him to be limited just because I am. And honestly, I like having a day to myself in the middle of the cruise. Too much togetherness, you know?
Today as I spent a few hours getting all my ducks in a row - asking a neighbor to take care of the outdoor plants, setting up the airport shuttle, canceling papers and water delivery, and making sure we had enough supplies for the cats while we are away - I also started the psychological prep just in case there's some major disappointment. If I expect difficulties, as well as do as much preparing to minimize them, then when the good stuff comes it'll be even better.
This is my nature, and I have a story about a big disappointment that has nothing to do with my disability to prove it. When I was pregnant with David, I had an ultrasound and wouldn't let the doctor tell me the baby's gender, it didn't matter. When I was pregnant again, 2 year's later, I wanted to be told. And when I found out the baby was male, I held the tears back till I was in my car, and then I cried for hours. I don't think I had realized how badly I wanted a girl, but I knew it was enough that I should find out before the baby was born. By the time Stephen arrived, I was ready and happy. It would have been horrible to be crying in the delivery room. (How was this in the days before ultrasounds?) And today, I can't imagine sons I'm more proud of and attached to. Sure, I'll tell my sons to have relationships with women who will be like daughters, and I'll even suggest a few from time to time (not that they listen). I'll remind them that they are to give me granddaughters one day! But they know that I'm more poking fun at myself than really trying to influence them. At least I hope they do.
I like to organize and plan, and I'm good at it, that's a strong part of my personality. I remember my first assignment book in 5th grade and how I loved to write notes in the pages. I am a queen of lists. It's a strength at times, when I can get a complicated vacation with all these extraneous details about accessibility put together, or I can oversee a home remodel and get it done in a reasonable amount of time. And it's a weakness when I'm thinking about what might go wrong, and what I'm missing. Overall, I'll have a good time on this vacation, not necessarily what I had expected, but that's ok. At least, for now, 2 weeks away - I keep reminding myself of this. And tomorrow, cat instructions and beginning to pack.
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